Untitled
by ekaki-uta
Summary: Songfic. Claus' thoughts during his reconstruction. Spoilers for Mother 3.


**Untitled **- based on the song by Simple Plan

* * *

><p><em>I open my eyes, I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light<em>

_I can't remember how, I can't remember why_

_I'm lying here tonight_

* * *

><p>Claus awoke to the sight of stark white walls and the heavy smell of antiseptics, feeling lightheaded and numb all over.<p>

He didn't know where he was or how he got there.

The last thing the boy could remember was falling down the side Mt. Oriander—he had been pushed off by the Mecha Drago he had tried to kill. Claus thought for sure he would've died when he hit the ground. And maybe he was dead, after all.

"Is this.. Heaven?" he asked himself.

No. This place seemed too real to be heaven. Too real, and too foreboding. Something was very wrong.

It was only then that Claus noticed there was an oxygen mask strapped to his face, and that he was being suspended by cables on the ceiling. He tried moving, but his body didn't respond.

Darting his eyes around the room, the boy saw that his arms and legs were also connected to strange machines, which beeped and blinked every now and then. His right forearm, which hardly looked like a proper arm anymore, was enclosed in a small glass tank filled with green liquid.

A door opened, and three men appeared. They were wearing white uniforms and helmets that looked like pig faces. One of them pushed a button on the machine next to him, and it sent a jet of smoke through Claus' mask. Before he knew it, he was falling asleep.

* * *

><p><em>And I can't stand the pain<em>

_No, I can't make it go away_

_No, I can't stand the pain  
><em>

* * *

><p>Claus woke again, this time lying face-up and strapped to a surface. His vision was blurry, and he still couldn't move, but his hearing was surprisingly clear.<p>

"—Already administered the medicines to keep him paralyzed."

There were the three figures again, looking only like black blobs to the boy. The one on the left spoke.

"Well then, let's begin the operation."

"_Operation?"_ he thought.

Claus heard the sound of a switch being flipped, and suddenly, there was sensation all over his body. He could feel again; in fact he was a lot more sensitive than normal now. He could feel all too well the tightness of the straps on his body, the pain of needles on his skin, and the coldness of the metal table on his naked flesh.

"We'll need his synapses firing when we attach the new arm. Got it?", he heard one of the men say.

"Okay, but let's concentrate on removing that other one first."

Claus felt scared—no, terrified. What were they going to do to him?

He had no time to wonder though, because suddenly the skin on his right arm was being torn, the blade of a scalpel against it. It was the worst pain he had ever experienced. The poor boy could feel every stroke of the knife as it cut deeper and deeper into him.

He wanted to resist; to writhe and scream, but the drugs were doing their job well. He couldn't move nor speak.

All he could do was whimper in agony, tears starting to flow down his cheeks.

One of the blobs spoke up: "Pay him no mind. Let's keep going."

* * *

><p><em>How could this happen to me?<em>

_I made my mistakes_

_Got nowhere to run_

_The night goes on, it's not fading away_

_I'm sick of this life_

_I just want to scream_

_How could this happen to me?_

* * *

><p>After what seemed like an eternity, the deed was done. The pain was still there, and it hadn't dissipated in the least, but Claus' arm was not. The boy could only watch, devastated, as it was carried away by one of the men. He closed his eyes and prayed that this was all just a horrible dream.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Everybody's screaming, I try to make a sound but no one hears me<em>

_I'm slipping off the edge_

_I'm hanging by a thread_

_I want to start this over again_

* * *

><p>Claus woke up from a nightmare, one where he relived the day his mother died. There was no consolation awaiting him in the real world though, because his life now was a nightmare, as well. Only there was no waking up from this.<p>

His right arm had now been replaced by a mechanical one, and on his back there was a pack which held robotic wings. Quite a few of his internal organs had been replaced with machinery, so he was now effectively a chimera.

The machines felt foreign; heavy against his flesh.

Today he was scheduled for what they called a 'conditioning session', where they would essentially strip him of his free will and memories. He couldn't resist, of course; they had programmed him to obey orders when they turned him into a cyborg.

The process was painful, both physically and mentally. Claus didn't want to forget; He didn't want to forget about Hinawa, or his life in Tazmily, or his twin brother, Lucas.

Memories of them was all that kept him sane.

* * *

><p><em>So I try to hold<em>

_On to a time when nothing mattered_

_And I explain what happened_

_And I can't erase the things that I've done_

_No I can't_

* * *

><p>"Mom, Dad, Lucas.."<p>

It had been weeks since Claus started his conditioning sessions, and now the boy was acting more like a machine and less like a person. By now, he could no longer remember anything about where he used to live or who he used to be.

But there were nights when he would revert to his old self, and on those nights he would curl up on his bed and pretend he was back home, with his brother at his side. He would remember the times when they didn't have a care in the world, when his mother was still alive; when everything was right.

On nights like that, he would cry himself to sleep, those memories his lullaby.

* * *

><p><em>How could this happen to me?<em>

_I made my mistakes_

_Got nowhere to run_

_The night goes on, it's not fading away_

_I'm sick of this life_

_I just want to scream_

_How could this happen to me?_

* * *

><p>The time had come for another one of Claus' conditioning sessions; most probably the last. There was but a sliver of his old self and memories left, and after tomorrow they would disappear, along with Claus' humanity.<p>

The boy stared at the ceiling, feeling tears fall down his already-damp cheeks. He didn't want to go to sleep, because he knew that if he did, he would no longer wake up as Claus.

"Why?" he asked himself. "Why did I have to be so stupid? Why, why, why?"

He turned over and started sobbing, hitting the bed with his human hand. None of this would have happened if he hadn't so foolishly tried to avenge his mother. Claus wanted to take it all back, and if he could he would, but now there was nothing the boy could do except wallow in regret.

He thought of Hinawa. What would she have said if she knew what Claus did, and what had happened to him?

He thought of Flint. How could Claus have let the pain of losing a wife be doubled by the pain of losing a son?

He thought of Lucas. What would happen now that his brother was alone? How could Claus have left when he needed him most?

He wept until his eyes had dried and he could cry no more. By then, it was already dawn.

Sleep finally overtaking the boy, Claus resigned to his fate.

"I'm sorry, everyone."

* * *

><p><em>I made my mistakes<em>

_Got nowhere to run_

_The night goes on, it's not fading away_

_I'm sick of this life_

_I just want to scream_

_How could this happen to me?_


End file.
